It has taken me a while to organize my thoughts for this past Father's Day. I know I wrote a long enough post on Mother's Day, but I didn't want to forget the first man in my life. He left this earth when I was nine years old - same age that Caleigh is now. Wow - complete devastation. He wasn't ill as you would think. We had enjoyed a trip to the gulf coast for the weekend where my mother's sister lived. It was a great time - i remember popsicles and standing on the beach. It was the night we had returned home when I first remember him telling my mother that he didn't feel well. Pain in his back - sometimes really bad.
They were not "drama" parents. They spoke to each other with respect and concern in a loving manner. At that time, we had moved into the house my dad was building for his youngest brother and wife. However, his brother had died suddenly (on his birthday) while he was at a baseball game watching his youngest son play. My dad and brother, Ray, were with him. Just like that and his brother was gone. So we continued to build that home and had moved in while leaving the upstairs unfinished. My dad would work on it each night. And I remember my mom pounding just as many nails as he did!
In this home, they had taken what was supposed to be the "formal living room" and made a bedroom for Nan and me. Just behind that bedroom was going to be the dining room, but at the time it was their bedroom. I remember my mom coming into our room the next morning after the trip and waking us to ask if we would go get in the bed with our dad because he was not doing very well. She needed to make some phone calls. I remember her crying - but I remember my dad smiling big when we jumped in the bed with him - one on each side. Wow I can feel how much he loved us - even today - almost 30 years later. His assurance that it wasn't really that serious was all we needed - "besides you know how momma can be".....
Kidney stones were the first and obvious diagnosis - but nothing was giving him any relief. At that time if you were under 12 you couldn't visit the hospital. I remember an aunt lifting me to the window and my dad sitting up in the bed to wave and blow kisses. I can point out the room to this day. That was the last time I saw him, at least on this earth.
Things went terribly bad that day - not kidney stones. An aneurysm on his aorta valve. Rushed to St. Ds to do emergency surgery. Made it to the emergency room before the aneurysm ruptured causing his body to physically jar before going limp and lifeless - in front of my mother and brother.
Now since this is my blog, I guess I can write as much as I want. So let's rewind to his life and forget about his death. He was raised one of 8 to a sharecropper. His father died very young and was buried in LA on the land he was farming. Hard, hard times - no food for the family times - i mean hard times. His mother returned with the children out around Concord Baptist Church. I am not sure if my dad had a high school diploma, but he was wiser than any teacher I have ever known. Joined the Navy at 18, married and 2 beautiful girls - then WWII. He was on the USS Franklin - fighter planes landed, refueled and took off - until a kamikaze hit them. Over 800 killed - fuel burning uncontrollably - horror at its worst. I know about the ship because there is a film about it - not because my dad ever mentioned any of it. You couldn't get him to even comment on the war. To ask him to go back in his mind to that horrible time was more than he was willing to do. He simply kept putting one foot ahead of the other - trying to block that part out. While in the war, he received divorce papers. Long story about that period and about my two sisters - one who has now also passed - not tonight though.
Fast forward to my mother working at McCrory's in Natchez. My dad was working at a car dealer. They met, fell in love and suffered the wrath of my primitive baptist grandmother who believed no man who had been divorced and had children was good enough for her eldest. But there was no changing Carmen's mind ( wonder where I get my stubbornness from??). Ray graced them with his presence in 1964 and it appeared as if the picture was complete. But Nan showed up 4 years later - when my dad was 50. Sounds good, a boy and a girl.Right?
Then the most wonderful thing happened!!! After first being diagnosed with a stomach tumor, my mother received the best news - "the tumor had a heartbeat!!" Congratulations, Mrs. Burr, you're pregnant - AGAIN. Yes, Mrs. Burr, I understand you have a new baby just 5 months old , but at least it's not a tumor!! Ok, ya'll, I know what you're thinking........watch it
My sweet loving dad - 51 and having a baby. I know by his actions of my 9 short years with him that he would not have wished it any other way. I can see him smiling as my mother gave him the news. Finally, he had 2 little girls - again.
He wasn't a big executive nor did he ever have a lot of money, but he was my daddy. I can honestly say he taught me so much. "if they can live with it, we can live without it" "if love were money we would be millionaires"
My heart aches for both of my parents. For I knew who they were and what they meant to me. I look at Caleigh and Carmon Claire and I want him to know why God spared his life so many times. While I would love to have them here today, I PRAISE God every day for having the type of parents I had if even for a short time. They taught me love - true, unconditional love.
I wasn't in the room when my mother drew her last breath. But the story is told that she became somewhat alert and asked where was Archie. Consoling her, the lady by her side replied they didn't know where he was. My mother then said, "Oh, there he is"
So that is the picture in my heart. After 14 years of separation, they were reunited.
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